I was raised in a strictly religious household (my parents were devout Mennonites), and I’ve always been interested in belief systems (I even spent a year of bible study in the UK, followed by some work with an African mission). I’m not sure where or when the following “exegesis” on Shite first crossed my desk (a few years back, author unknown), but on re-review it still seems germane…
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A SHORT GUIDE TO COMPARATIVE RELIGIONS
Taoism | Shit happens.
Confucianism | Confucius say, “Shit Happens.”
Calvinism | Shit happens because you don’t work hard enough.
Buddhism | If shit happens, it really isn’t shit.
Seventh Day Adventist | No shit on Saturdays.
Zen | What is the sound of shit happening?
Hedonism | There’s nothing like a good shit happening.
Hinduism | This shit happened before.
Mormon | This shit is going to happen again.
Islam | If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Moonies | Only happy shit really happens.
Stoicism | This shit is good for me.
Protestantism | Let the shit happen to someone else.
Catholicism | Shit happens because you are BAD.
Hare Krishna | Shit happens rama rama.
Judaism | Why does this shit always happen to US?
Zoroastrianism | Shit happens half the time.
Christian Science | Shit is in your mind.
Atheism | Sheeit.
Existentialism | What is shit anyway?
Rastafarianism | Let’s smoke this shit.