Yikes.

A perusal of miscellaneous retro comics paints guys as real jerks… it’s enough to make a man want to apologize on behalf of my whole damn gender!

I love, and collect, and occasionally share wise words and quotations… here are some that have resurfaced lately…

I quote others only the better to express myself.

—Michel de Montaigne (1533-1592 )

I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.

—Wilson Mizner (1876-1933)

We are no more than God’s imagination about himself.

—Thomas Mann (1875-1955)

The world is a tragedy to those who feel,

but a comedy to those who think.

—Horace Walpole (1717-1797)

A child of five would understand this.
Send someone to fetch a child of five!

—Groucho Marx (1890-1977)

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.

—Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

To him who is in fear, everything rustles.

—Socrates (469 BC-399 BC)

Education is when you read the fine print.
Experience is what you get if you don’t.

—Pete Seger (1919— )

He of whom many are afraid ought to fear many.

— Sir Francis Bacon (1561-1626)

Everything has been thought of before—
the problem is to think of it again.

—Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832)

There is no such thing as a pretty good omelette.

—French proverb

Many a scarecrow serves as a roost of the enlightened crow.

—(unknown)

The man who can’t visualize a horse
galloping on a tomato is an idiot.

—André Breton (1896-1966)

Please feel free to share with me the quotations that touch your own soul, tickle your fancy, or blow your mind, OK? You can contact me here.

Hmmm…

Perhaps these will be funnier for folks who survived puritan or fundamentalist religious upbringings… (-:

I get a good chuckle, having been raised in a relatively devout Mennonite family (Mennonites are much like our Swiss cousins the Amish, but we get to drive in cars and use zippers instead of hook-and-eye closures and buttons — the risk being, of course, that both cars and zippers are “too fast” and do not provide the opportunity for reflection and sobered second thought).

As the tale goes…

The Newfoundland Department of Employment claimed that a boat owner wasn’t paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent from St. John’s to Burin to investigate him.

Government Agent:

“I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them.”

Boat Owner:

“Well, there’s Clarence, my hired hand, he’s been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board. Then there’s the mentally challenged guy. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of Lamb’s rum and a dozen Labatt Lite every Saturday night so he can cope with life. He also gets to sleep with my wife occasionally.”

Government Agent:

“That’s the guy I want to talk to—the mentally challenged one.”

Boat Owner:

“That’ll be me. What’d you want to know?”

Thanks to ex-Maritime designer colleague David Peters

(no relation) for the yarn.

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.

I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time.

What do you get at the end of it? Death!

What’s that, a bonus?

I think the life cycle is all backwards.

You should die first, get it out of the way.

Then you live in an old age home.

You get kicked out when you’re too young,

you get a gold watch, you go to work.

You work forty years until you’re young enough

to enjoy your retirement.

You party, you get ready for high school.

You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play.

You have no responsibilities, you become a little baby,

you go back into the womb, you spend your

last nine months floating…

…and you finish off as an orgasm.

(thanks George Carlin)

Through graffiti… in every corner of the world.

(original image sources unknown)

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