Robert L. Peters

16 December 2010

The Official Canadian Temperature Conversion Chart (especially helpful for my friends in the U.S. and others who may be metrically challenged)…

50° Fahrenheit (10° C)

New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.

Canadians plant gardens.

40° Fahrenheit (4.4° C)

Californians shiver uncontrollably.

Canadians sunbathe.

35° Fahrenheit (1.6° C)

Italian cars won’t start.

Canadians drive with the windows down.

32° Fahrenheit (0° C)

Distilled water freezes.

Canadian water get thicker.

0° Fahrenheit (-17.9° C)

New York City landlords finally turn on the heat.

Canadians have the last cookout of the season.

-40° Fahrenheit (-40° C)

Hollywood disintegrates.

Canadians rent some videos.

-60° Fahrenheit (-51° C)

Mt. St. Helens freezes.

Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies door-to-door.

-100° Fahrenheit (-73° C)

Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.

Canadians pull down their ear flaps.

-173° Fahrenheit (-114° C)

Ethyl alcohol Freezes.

Canadians get frustrated when they can’t thaw the keg.

-460° Fahrenheit (-273° C)

Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops.

Canadians start saying “cold, eh?”

-500° Fahrenheit (-295° C)

Hell freezes over.

The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup.


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